Growing out and Growing In

Today T and I went downtown on a shopping adventure...er...spree! ^.^ I spent most likely close to $200.00. Though I had the guilt I always seem to have when spending money(gotta figure that one out), I was also able to have fun with it. My counter to the guilt was that a. I was spending money on supplies for my business plan, and b. I was spending money of items for T, mainly to create activities for her with, which is important and totally okay to spend money on as she deserves to have these wondrous creations. ^.^ GOD I love being a Mom! Have I said that lately? Well, let me say it again just for good measure: I LOVE BEING A MOM!!! ^<>^

And so my plan is going ahead smoothly. I am feeling(in this moment at least) very good about my plans to create beautiful things to support myself and T with. I also asked at a wonderful, fire-ovened bakery(which seems to support excellent progressive political views) if they were looking for workers. I was told they weren't at the moment, but when I expressed that I was thinking more like September, she said it was more likely on account of the school year. So, I am more optimistic about this. It has been a pondering thing in my mind that I should also work a small amount as an 'employee', as this would give us more financial stability than relying on whether or not enough people purchase my creations. The bakery is rather far from my home, but a good bike ride(an hour) may be nice...or deadly. >.< It may be more realistic for me to look closer to home, which could work out super nice on account of all the farms close by!

This is another point of stress when I think about it though. We are potentially facing yet another move in September. Half of me wants to stay here. The neighborhood is wonderful, we are a bike ride away from organic farms and a mountain and woods and the ocean. It is a healthy environment for us, and rather family oriented from my present interperatation. This part of me(well, the entirety of me) so strongly desires to have roots and continue on with the garden we are putting work into and get ducks and set up rain barrels and establish a sense of community around us and a physical settledness. The other half of me is feeling the smallness of a basement suite(and our other room-mate hasn't even moved in yet since we got the place May 1, so who knows how crowded it will feel then). That part of me wants so badly to find an entire house to rent that also has a 2 bedroom suite off of it. This way, I could be with community but also have space for me and T, which I am feeling more and more crazy about not having as time wears on and she grows and each of our needs change and grow. Maybe if I start making my own money I can afford enough rent to warrant a 2 bedroom suite off of a shared house instead of one room in a tiny shared basement suite(we're talking not even enough room for a kitchen table). Speaking of which, does anyone have advice to give about creating order and making the best use of a small space with a child and a disorganized mother who has a constant passionate desire to be ultra-organized? (Just to be fair, it is a beautiful and blessed place for which I am immensely grateful!)

So I am very excited for the potential lurking about my life right now! I am also tired of things in my life that I am quickly out-growing.
Bring on the new, baby!!

Here I go? Let's see where it takes me!
-Sarah Christina