I am back.
And today I am here only to speak of one thing. A very monumental thing on this very important day to my daughter and I. . .
Alas it has come. Yesterday morning Tyler nursed, and it was the last nurse my sweet baby child will get from these adored breasts of mine. It is all such beauty. Her growth, my love, her love, my growth. So much has been passed from my body to hers, energetically and through the nectar of the breast. So much love, so much comfort, so much care and just Ah, to explain it fully would be impossible. There is the sad part of me, but maybe it is just sentimental. This transition. From one phase to the next.
Thank you my sweet baby child for the beauty of being able to sustain you as I have, and for the future of being able to sustain you as I will.
I love you and you are truly blessed. I have so much love from you and I am truly blessed.
Such heart to you my darling one goes!!!
<3 <3 <3
Walking into the garden . . .
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Rhythm Equals Sanity! Thanks Given!!!
Before I blog today, I just want to mention something that relates to a previous blog post. I mentioned that I was giving T Bach's Rescue Remedy flower infusion when she took her bedtime bath. Those two days I did so were perfectly fitting, as they were stressful days. However, now that stress is not the norm, I realize that it is a medicine to use only on days where stress is occurring. So if it's been a rough day, the Rescue Remedy is safe and gentle. I think it's a wonder aid!
And now, on to the rest of today's blog post:
Our lives have established the rhythm and flow that I have been in great need of!!! Hooray!!!
The constants(with obvious variations, depending upon circumstance) have comfortably settled into something like this:
Wake up, Nurse
Make Mom's bed/roll up T's bedroll
Breakfast
Go on an Outing
Mid-morning snack(seems small, but is a vital key to maintaining the flow!! If it is missed, everything may collapse from that point of the day on!)
Home for Lunch
Quiet Time(we've worked up to an hour. Also, a note about quiet time, I feel that it is important to time this wisely, and to aim for the same time each day. The little ones need down time, and if pushed too far it can get stressful for Mama and child. Also, if you are trying to smoothly transition from nap to no nap like us, it is important to facilitate quite time before their bodies and minds become exhausted and need to sleep! It works beautifully and I highly recommend it!!!)
Go on an Outing/Play in the yard depending
Home for dinner prep and eating
Tea(we've just added this evening ritual in today. I am very excited about it!!)
Read books(I've also just begun this tonight because it worked well. I have felt for a while that reading books before bath time made more sense for T as once she's had her bath, all she wants is to nurse and sleep!)
Bath Time
Sleep(and this has grown a nightly ritual all it's own. It goes something like this: get diaper and jammies on, unroll & prepare bedroll[which is used folded up as a sitting area for T during the day--it is part of the intentional calm space in the room, and SO amazing! She literally screeched with jubilation while hitting it in excitement the first time I set it up for her!!!], put blanket up in window[still gotta get curtains up there], then lay down to nurse and sleep. It is so established, and I realized this because tonight I put the blanket in the window before unrolling the bed, and while I was doing this T was busy getting her teddy bear and pillows[used as cushions in the day] and blanket[laid out on the seat during the day] off of her bedroll. She then asked for assistance as she could not get it unrolled on her own[it is heavy, lots of wool blankets and a heavy woven cotton blanket are what makes up her bedroll]. That's when I clued into what she was up to. And out like a light was she once we lay down together! ^.^ And that's when I realized the amazing accomplishment that has at last naturally woven itself into our lives!)
Also, in the afternoon she sometimes requests a nurse, so that happens as well. I am really quite surprised how in these last few days, even her requests for milk have gone down, and not because of discouragement. I feel it's more of understanding/moving past it. For instance, she asks for me instead of milk, but in the same way she used to ask for milk, showing that she can satisfy her need to be close with me/have my attention without necessarily nursing.
So thrilled am I about this wonderful sense of routine, and the way it had to be, one that naturally worked itself into our lives, taking the lead for us to follow. It feels amazing! And I can definitely feel the impact of T knowing what to expect from her days! Such beauty in the simplest, yet most important, things in the life of a Mother and her child!
Breakfast
Her breakfast was so beautiful, I was inspired to photograph our meals. This was, from the left, scrabbled eggs with Red Bell Peppers, Rhubarb/Strawberry/Sorrel sauce with a dollop of thick plain yogurt, and a small glass of Carrot juice(a gift from a friend).
The success of this meal for my toddler>: The sauce she mostly wanted the yogurt from and the occasional strawberry bit, but mostly it was played with more than eaten. The carrot juice ended up in the fridge in full. The eggs she devoured, plus a third of mine(not so much on the Red Peppers, though).
The success of this meal for me: I enjoyed it. The sauce received some Agave nectar, however. I think the rhubarb was just not so hot. The rest was delicious.
Lunch
This was the lunch spread. Our meals aren't always this beautifully presented, but I was rather inspired today, and I hope it will continue!
The self-serve portion is meant to be toppings/additions to the alphabet pasta, which I served for her with Miso gravy(Miso mixed with water to reach proper consistency). Oh, and it's Miso gravy in the mug, not coffee. :) The silver tray contains Cucumber and Avocado(from the discount shelf at the green grocer I shop at. I try not to buy things from far away, however I allow myself to get the nearly trashed things!), on the three-dished platter are heirloom Tomatoes, Red Bell Peppers and Mango(also a gift from my lovely, lovely friend!), and the other thing is the lid to the sprouts, which I used to serve some in. The whole thing ended up on her plate.
And here is her plate. Aside from the alphabet noodles and gravy, she served herself, and was quite delighted by the process. She's sporting the noodles, Cucumber, Avocado and sprouts(deli sprouts).
The success of this meal for my Toddler: She loved it and ate most of it...or all...I can't remember. Oh to be a Mom! Well, I took most of her sprouts thinking it was too much for her.
The success of this meal for me: Amazingly delicious!!
And now, on to the rest of today's blog post:
Our lives have established the rhythm and flow that I have been in great need of!!! Hooray!!!
The constants(with obvious variations, depending upon circumstance) have comfortably settled into something like this:
Wake up, Nurse
Make Mom's bed/roll up T's bedroll
Breakfast
Go on an Outing
Mid-morning snack(seems small, but is a vital key to maintaining the flow!! If it is missed, everything may collapse from that point of the day on!)
Home for Lunch
Quiet Time(we've worked up to an hour. Also, a note about quiet time, I feel that it is important to time this wisely, and to aim for the same time each day. The little ones need down time, and if pushed too far it can get stressful for Mama and child. Also, if you are trying to smoothly transition from nap to no nap like us, it is important to facilitate quite time before their bodies and minds become exhausted and need to sleep! It works beautifully and I highly recommend it!!!)
Go on an Outing/Play in the yard depending
Home for dinner prep and eating
Tea(we've just added this evening ritual in today. I am very excited about it!!)
Read books(I've also just begun this tonight because it worked well. I have felt for a while that reading books before bath time made more sense for T as once she's had her bath, all she wants is to nurse and sleep!)
Bath Time
Sleep(and this has grown a nightly ritual all it's own. It goes something like this: get diaper and jammies on, unroll & prepare bedroll[which is used folded up as a sitting area for T during the day--it is part of the intentional calm space in the room, and SO amazing! She literally screeched with jubilation while hitting it in excitement the first time I set it up for her!!!], put blanket up in window[still gotta get curtains up there], then lay down to nurse and sleep. It is so established, and I realized this because tonight I put the blanket in the window before unrolling the bed, and while I was doing this T was busy getting her teddy bear and pillows[used as cushions in the day] and blanket[laid out on the seat during the day] off of her bedroll. She then asked for assistance as she could not get it unrolled on her own[it is heavy, lots of wool blankets and a heavy woven cotton blanket are what makes up her bedroll]. That's when I clued into what she was up to. And out like a light was she once we lay down together! ^.^ And that's when I realized the amazing accomplishment that has at last naturally woven itself into our lives!)
Also, in the afternoon she sometimes requests a nurse, so that happens as well. I am really quite surprised how in these last few days, even her requests for milk have gone down, and not because of discouragement. I feel it's more of understanding/moving past it. For instance, she asks for me instead of milk, but in the same way she used to ask for milk, showing that she can satisfy her need to be close with me/have my attention without necessarily nursing.
So thrilled am I about this wonderful sense of routine, and the way it had to be, one that naturally worked itself into our lives, taking the lead for us to follow. It feels amazing! And I can definitely feel the impact of T knowing what to expect from her days! Such beauty in the simplest, yet most important, things in the life of a Mother and her child!
And now, for some tasty pictures from today!
BreakfastHer breakfast was so beautiful, I was inspired to photograph our meals. This was, from the left, scrabbled eggs with Red Bell Peppers, Rhubarb/Strawberry/Sorrel sauce with a dollop of thick plain yogurt, and a small glass of Carrot juice(a gift from a friend).
The success of this meal for my toddler>: The sauce she mostly wanted the yogurt from and the occasional strawberry bit, but mostly it was played with more than eaten. The carrot juice ended up in the fridge in full. The eggs she devoured, plus a third of mine(not so much on the Red Peppers, though).
The success of this meal for me: I enjoyed it. The sauce received some Agave nectar, however. I think the rhubarb was just not so hot. The rest was delicious.
LunchThis was the lunch spread. Our meals aren't always this beautifully presented, but I was rather inspired today, and I hope it will continue!
The self-serve portion is meant to be toppings/additions to the alphabet pasta, which I served for her with Miso gravy(Miso mixed with water to reach proper consistency). Oh, and it's Miso gravy in the mug, not coffee. :) The silver tray contains Cucumber and Avocado(from the discount shelf at the green grocer I shop at. I try not to buy things from far away, however I allow myself to get the nearly trashed things!), on the three-dished platter are heirloom Tomatoes, Red Bell Peppers and Mango(also a gift from my lovely, lovely friend!), and the other thing is the lid to the sprouts, which I used to serve some in. The whole thing ended up on her plate.
And here is her plate. Aside from the alphabet noodles and gravy, she served herself, and was quite delighted by the process. She's sporting the noodles, Cucumber, Avocado and sprouts(deli sprouts). The success of this meal for my Toddler: She loved it and ate most of it...or all...I can't remember. Oh to be a Mom! Well, I took most of her sprouts thinking it was too much for her.
The success of this meal for me: Amazingly delicious!!
I also wanted so badly to share a photo of T having tea, however for some frustrating reason the computer won't allow me to open that one photograph for uploading to here. Perhaps I can add it tomorrow.
Yesterday my friend, who lives a 30 minute drive away, came with her lovely daughter who is a month older than T. It was so nice, and T has been talking about them so much since we've moved into our new home, and non-stop since talk began about them coming to visit. Can't wait to see them again. And yes, she is the delightful one who brought me Carrot juice and a Mango. :)
Tomorrow we are going to the Farmer's Market, hopefully biking, though it is a distance away. It's funnier, really, we're closer to the farms most likely. After this, we are starting a new biweekly date with Auntie J & Uncle J of introducing ourselves and each other to new meals, things we haven't made before. I am excited to add variety to my meal preparation. Also, we are going to focus on using local, seasonal food. This should be good. I am going to rotate this with our pool trips as the chlorine was too much to take every week. Soon it will be the Lake...if summer ever comes. Today was sunny, so there is hope!
Alright, it is getting on. Much love to you all.
Thank you so much for reading!
Please do leave me a comment!!
Love!
-Sarah Christina
Tomorrow we are going to the Farmer's Market, hopefully biking, though it is a distance away. It's funnier, really, we're closer to the farms most likely. After this, we are starting a new biweekly date with Auntie J & Uncle J of introducing ourselves and each other to new meals, things we haven't made before. I am excited to add variety to my meal preparation. Also, we are going to focus on using local, seasonal food. This should be good. I am going to rotate this with our pool trips as the chlorine was too much to take every week. Soon it will be the Lake...if summer ever comes. Today was sunny, so there is hope!
Alright, it is getting on. Much love to you all.
Thank you so much for reading!
Please do leave me a comment!!
Love!
-Sarah Christina
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
New Camera! And Another Wonderful Day! :)
*EDIT* I mention in this blog post the effectiveness of Bach's Rescue Remedy to aid with settling down for sleep at night. I just want to express that during this time, stress was a common daily factor. Now that I am feeling better, I want to say that I think RR is ideal for those crazy and stressful days, but not just as a general bedtime routine.**
Today was good. It did not go the way yesterday went as I had hoped, however I see why, it makes sense, and it is totally okay.
A lot of what I believe worked so well with sleep patterns yesterday was that I intentionally set aside Quiet Time, both for T and myself. Surrounding this was thought and timing. I set this time aside after lunch, a time which has been a usual nap time(at last!). I explained that it was time for a quiet time, suggested what quiet things she could do, and stated that she was free to do what she wanted with this time, while the intention was to take some space and be calm. It worked wonderfully.
Today, we had a busy morning visiting a farm, a nursery and a grocery store. This morning easily became an afternoon as well, and we did not return home until about 1:15 pm. I pushed the little monkey too far, and she fell asleep not long before our bicycle rode up to our house.
I think that if I am going to use Quite Time as a down-time in place of naps, I need to be mindful of her needs timing wise for it to work. I need to be consistent and watch her cues.
The long and the short of it is that I feel it reasonable to expect a bit of a nap on Wednesdays(which I want to be our regular shopping day, which means a bicycle ride to the farm stand and then the green grocer down the road). On other days, however, I would like to mindfully incorporate the Quite Time as I did yesterday.
So I am excited!
Oh, and having mentioned the Nursery, we finally picked up some lovely plants for the house! Now to set T up for caring for them! Photos to come! ^.^
Today's Nurse Report:
In the early morning hours(she crawled into bed with me just after I went to bed last night) she nursed quite possibly every 20 mins towards the end of it, until finally awaking herself and me. That felt a bit tiring, esp. since there was nursing through the night. It was okay though.
She nursed back to sleep as she woke groggy when I placed her in bed from her bike seat.
She nursed to sleep.
It was manageable and good, though I could live without the hour early half-wake of nurse-nurse-nurse.
Bed time went alright, though later than I would like(for my own reasons of space and time to myself/my own decent bedtime). There is one lovely thing I've done for the past two nights now to encourage relaxation for my little one. During her bath I have given her a few drops of Bach's Rescue Remedy (homeopathic flower essence) on the tongue. I would recommend this for winding down at the end of stressful days. Tonight I also added Lavender essential oil(a favorite around here) and a dab of coconut oil(for lovely oiled skin, and heat retention during the night). I also would like to begin the ritual of post-dinner tea drinking. I found her an amazing little cast-iron tea pot which I am beside myself about! I am thinking Lavender, Chamomile and Lemon Balm. (We have Lemon Balm growing in the garden that we dug up and brought over from our last house and she LOVES it. She loves to visit it, to water it, to pick and eat it. She has often talked/asked about Lemon Balm water, so this will be a welcome drink, I think.)
And some exciting news!! My memory stick came in today and does in fact work!!
And so, with no further adieu, my photographs from today! (I will add more tomorrow. I would like to find out how to upload them without having to wait so long. I tried uploading 5 at once and none of them ended up working. Any suggestions??)
"I'm digging with a shovel, too, Mom."
Some of our lovely tomato flowers! (We bought started plants at the Farmer's Market).
Thyme Hands <3>
Today was good. It did not go the way yesterday went as I had hoped, however I see why, it makes sense, and it is totally okay.
A lot of what I believe worked so well with sleep patterns yesterday was that I intentionally set aside Quiet Time, both for T and myself. Surrounding this was thought and timing. I set this time aside after lunch, a time which has been a usual nap time(at last!). I explained that it was time for a quiet time, suggested what quiet things she could do, and stated that she was free to do what she wanted with this time, while the intention was to take some space and be calm. It worked wonderfully.
Today, we had a busy morning visiting a farm, a nursery and a grocery store. This morning easily became an afternoon as well, and we did not return home until about 1:15 pm. I pushed the little monkey too far, and she fell asleep not long before our bicycle rode up to our house.
I think that if I am going to use Quite Time as a down-time in place of naps, I need to be mindful of her needs timing wise for it to work. I need to be consistent and watch her cues.
The long and the short of it is that I feel it reasonable to expect a bit of a nap on Wednesdays(which I want to be our regular shopping day, which means a bicycle ride to the farm stand and then the green grocer down the road). On other days, however, I would like to mindfully incorporate the Quite Time as I did yesterday.
So I am excited!
Oh, and having mentioned the Nursery, we finally picked up some lovely plants for the house! Now to set T up for caring for them! Photos to come! ^.^
Today's Nurse Report:
In the early morning hours(she crawled into bed with me just after I went to bed last night) she nursed quite possibly every 20 mins towards the end of it, until finally awaking herself and me. That felt a bit tiring, esp. since there was nursing through the night. It was okay though.
She nursed back to sleep as she woke groggy when I placed her in bed from her bike seat.
She nursed to sleep.
It was manageable and good, though I could live without the hour early half-wake of nurse-nurse-nurse.
Bed time went alright, though later than I would like(for my own reasons of space and time to myself/my own decent bedtime). There is one lovely thing I've done for the past two nights now to encourage relaxation for my little one. During her bath I have given her a few drops of Bach's Rescue Remedy (homeopathic flower essence) on the tongue. I would recommend this for winding down at the end of stressful days. Tonight I also added Lavender essential oil(a favorite around here) and a dab of coconut oil(for lovely oiled skin, and heat retention during the night). I also would like to begin the ritual of post-dinner tea drinking. I found her an amazing little cast-iron tea pot which I am beside myself about! I am thinking Lavender, Chamomile and Lemon Balm. (We have Lemon Balm growing in the garden that we dug up and brought over from our last house and she LOVES it. She loves to visit it, to water it, to pick and eat it. She has often talked/asked about Lemon Balm water, so this will be a welcome drink, I think.)
And some exciting news!! My memory stick came in today and does in fact work!!
And so, with no further adieu, my photographs from today! (I will add more tomorrow. I would like to find out how to upload them without having to wait so long. I tried uploading 5 at once and none of them ended up working. Any suggestions??)
"I'm digging with a shovel, too, Mom."
Some of our lovely tomato flowers! (We bought started plants at the Farmer's Market).
Thyme Hands <3>
The amazing joy this dearest one feels!! Oh my Lord! <3>
In Love and Joy,
-Sarah
-Sarah
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Breathe in the Refreshment!! What a wonderful day!
Today was nice. I am excited about a few things.
1. Today we worked at no nap, and it was no challenge. There was a bit of over-reacting towards pre/post dinner time, but nothing a bit of understanding and patience on my part didn't help. And Viola! It's 7:00 pm and my little one is down for the night, no fuss, no battle, not even the relaxing CD I used to finally get her down at 10:30 last night! We have been going back and forth between napping and not napping, and today finally felt like an ideal sleep patterned day!!
2. Nurse Land, loving it rather than being fed-up! The only time she nursed today, aside from nursing to sleep, was when she received a minor bloody nose from some uncoordinated dance moves with the other sweet ones at Music Together this morning. that was about 10:30am. She didn't even seem to notice not having a wake up nurse. She asked a couple times during the day for a nurse, but I diverted it. At the end of the day, nursing her to sleep, I felt really good about it! I want it to be like this. I want to be able to nurse with her at the end of our busy days. I want to be able to have milk for her when she really needs comfort and grounding, or in case she should become ill. And this level of nursing, this level I can absolutely live with! Let's see how it goes from here. :)
3. I have discovered an amazing resource offered by BC Housing here in BC. It is a Rental Assistance Program. In short, once I begin working and am no longer on assistance, I can receive an amount of money to go towards my rent. This has given me hope and enthusiasm about becoming financially independent! Go Mama, go! (This is especially exciting to me because it makes my desire to have my own place with T more achievable.)
4. I am, after being motivated better by blogs I've read, planning on going back to cloth diapers. I honestly don't know why I stopped. I think my issue was the kind of diapers I was using as opposed to the fact that they were cloth. Anyways, a while back I bought 5 nice cloth diapers in the hopes of returning to cloth land. I have learned that 10 might be a more reasonable number to keep in stock. So, I am planning to either purchase or sew some ASAP. Weeeee!! (I also did not think T would still be in diapers after 2, but hey, it's her thing.)
5. We had a glorious day today, the little monkey and I! After breakfast, we walked with T in the stroller to our beloved Music Together class(about a 5 minute walk for grown-up legs). We had so much fun there, as usual. Then, we came back with T walking and leading the way/pace. It was so wonderful. I have been wanting to make it a priority to give space for her to experience a walk where she takes the lead and has the time, space and opportunity to walk as slowly as she wants, to stop and experience anything she sees along the way she wishes to. It was incredibly rewarding. I feel that this start played an immense role in creating the day we experienced! (She chose to take her boots and socks off part way too, which was lovely for the grassy parts!)
After lunch, I created intentional space for "quite time" for both T and myself. I think that the fact that this time I was also having quite time (journaling in the living room right outside of our bedroom) effected her ability and motivation to also enjoy her quiet time. She was busy dressing the lovely and anatomically correct baby boy doll our good friend Auntie J lent to her, and tending to her other babysitting duties. During this time I played a lullaby type CD with some nice singing and classical style music. I truly believe that this is an incredibly important time for her, to have this facilitated down time, especially if she is not napping.
After this, we had a lovely bike ride. The intention of this was to pick of the memory stick for my new digital camera, however it was faulty. They are going to order me a new one which will be in tomorrow, and so that may mark the beginning of my life as a text and picture blogger!! I am excited for that! :) Though the mission was not achieved, so much more magic and beauty occurred. She was super excited about the lovely fountain in the middle of the square where the store was. After some wet time spent being enchanted, and making a new little friend, we were off. I decided to take a different way back and see if we could find our way. Well, we also happened upon a park. Need I say more?
After returning home T had fun playing and snacking. Then dinner and a bath and to bed. And here I am, free to relax and finish off the rest of the Panda Licorice! ^.^
Much love to you all! I look forward to photo blogs soon!!!
-Sarah Christina, One Radical Mama! ^.^
1. Today we worked at no nap, and it was no challenge. There was a bit of over-reacting towards pre/post dinner time, but nothing a bit of understanding and patience on my part didn't help. And Viola! It's 7:00 pm and my little one is down for the night, no fuss, no battle, not even the relaxing CD I used to finally get her down at 10:30 last night! We have been going back and forth between napping and not napping, and today finally felt like an ideal sleep patterned day!!
2. Nurse Land, loving it rather than being fed-up! The only time she nursed today, aside from nursing to sleep, was when she received a minor bloody nose from some uncoordinated dance moves with the other sweet ones at Music Together this morning. that was about 10:30am. She didn't even seem to notice not having a wake up nurse. She asked a couple times during the day for a nurse, but I diverted it. At the end of the day, nursing her to sleep, I felt really good about it! I want it to be like this. I want to be able to nurse with her at the end of our busy days. I want to be able to have milk for her when she really needs comfort and grounding, or in case she should become ill. And this level of nursing, this level I can absolutely live with! Let's see how it goes from here. :)
3. I have discovered an amazing resource offered by BC Housing here in BC. It is a Rental Assistance Program. In short, once I begin working and am no longer on assistance, I can receive an amount of money to go towards my rent. This has given me hope and enthusiasm about becoming financially independent! Go Mama, go! (This is especially exciting to me because it makes my desire to have my own place with T more achievable.)
4. I am, after being motivated better by blogs I've read, planning on going back to cloth diapers. I honestly don't know why I stopped. I think my issue was the kind of diapers I was using as opposed to the fact that they were cloth. Anyways, a while back I bought 5 nice cloth diapers in the hopes of returning to cloth land. I have learned that 10 might be a more reasonable number to keep in stock. So, I am planning to either purchase or sew some ASAP. Weeeee!! (I also did not think T would still be in diapers after 2, but hey, it's her thing.)
5. We had a glorious day today, the little monkey and I! After breakfast, we walked with T in the stroller to our beloved Music Together class(about a 5 minute walk for grown-up legs). We had so much fun there, as usual. Then, we came back with T walking and leading the way/pace. It was so wonderful. I have been wanting to make it a priority to give space for her to experience a walk where she takes the lead and has the time, space and opportunity to walk as slowly as she wants, to stop and experience anything she sees along the way she wishes to. It was incredibly rewarding. I feel that this start played an immense role in creating the day we experienced! (She chose to take her boots and socks off part way too, which was lovely for the grassy parts!)
After lunch, I created intentional space for "quite time" for both T and myself. I think that the fact that this time I was also having quite time (journaling in the living room right outside of our bedroom) effected her ability and motivation to also enjoy her quiet time. She was busy dressing the lovely and anatomically correct baby boy doll our good friend Auntie J lent to her, and tending to her other babysitting duties. During this time I played a lullaby type CD with some nice singing and classical style music. I truly believe that this is an incredibly important time for her, to have this facilitated down time, especially if she is not napping.
After this, we had a lovely bike ride. The intention of this was to pick of the memory stick for my new digital camera, however it was faulty. They are going to order me a new one which will be in tomorrow, and so that may mark the beginning of my life as a text and picture blogger!! I am excited for that! :) Though the mission was not achieved, so much more magic and beauty occurred. She was super excited about the lovely fountain in the middle of the square where the store was. After some wet time spent being enchanted, and making a new little friend, we were off. I decided to take a different way back and see if we could find our way. Well, we also happened upon a park. Need I say more?
After returning home T had fun playing and snacking. Then dinner and a bath and to bed. And here I am, free to relax and finish off the rest of the Panda Licorice! ^.^
Much love to you all! I look forward to photo blogs soon!!!
-Sarah Christina, One Radical Mama! ^.^
Friday, May 28, 2010
The No-Nap/Late Nap & Irregular Bedtime Girl, and her Tired, Disorganized Mama
Ah, the striving for structure/routine/order in my life and in T's life has evolved into seemingly endless sleep struggle. She is not into any sort of structure with her sleep and it is driving me a bit mad. Both her naps and her bedtime are super irregular, which I know ultimately is fine. For her anyways. I do feel she could benefit from regularity in sleep-land though. Mostly I want to preserve my sanity. I mean, come on, over two years as a single bicycling/busing Mama? I am slightly tired and going a tad bit insane!! Tonight she told me she was ready to sleep, we went through the whole bed-prep business(though I confess my tiredness is resulting in a lacking of a solid routine, which is to say on tired nights, I skip the bath). After nursing and then laying and singing and back-rubbing, then listening to a relaxation/visualization CD for toddlers I found at the library, giving her a soother(which until late has been soley a teething pain reliever), putting a blanket in the window, leaving her on her own, sitting with her and rubbing her, reminding her to be calm, etc, etc, etc, she still came out of bed in the end.
Currently (9:00pm), Chris is out with her on a stroller "Sleep Walk", as I dubbed them when she was around 5 months and having trouble sleeping for a bit. I would put her on my body and nurse/walk her to sleep--Sleep Walks. Hopefully this will work tonight, though I have to say that more-so in the last few months, Sleep Walks as a last resort are not as effective as they once were and I often return or have returned to me a wide-awake or cranky milk-demanding toddler(which, I must say, I am also tiring of...*sigh*).
I pray that soon I will no longer have these issues eating away at my energy and such. The sleep thing is huge. I know it will be okay. I am grounded, I am strong. I will get through this and so will T, and I know it really isn't that bad.
Still, any advice is highly desired.
Thank you for reading!
-Sarah
Currently (9:00pm), Chris is out with her on a stroller "Sleep Walk", as I dubbed them when she was around 5 months and having trouble sleeping for a bit. I would put her on my body and nurse/walk her to sleep--Sleep Walks. Hopefully this will work tonight, though I have to say that more-so in the last few months, Sleep Walks as a last resort are not as effective as they once were and I often return or have returned to me a wide-awake or cranky milk-demanding toddler(which, I must say, I am also tiring of...*sigh*).
I pray that soon I will no longer have these issues eating away at my energy and such. The sleep thing is huge. I know it will be okay. I am grounded, I am strong. I will get through this and so will T, and I know it really isn't that bad.
Still, any advice is highly desired.
Thank you for reading!
-Sarah
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
GAAAAAAHHh!
I am feeling immensely aggravated right now. I realize that it is not T's fault, however what I am feeling is in relation to experiences with her.
She woke up really early, which felt even earlier than it should as I stayed up FAR later than I ever should(1:00am). However, we've managed to have a wonderful morning, we went to music together after a pancake breakfast(which did involve T whining at me to the point where I was yelling at her and putting her in her room, hoping she'd just take the time to have a break and relax, which semi-sorta worked. So, maybe not all wonderful).
After we returned from that, with a stop at the small playground on the short walk home, lunch was prepared and eaten. I called T in from outside to either eat some more lunch or come and lay down with me for a nap. She chose the second option, we washed her up and got her PJs on(at her request). After laying with her for a while and getting SO annoyed at the constant prodding and squirming and grabbing, and just sick of even her suckling, I pulled my boob out in hopes she would roll over and go to sleep(as she often does). However, she became perky and awake again and now it is all I can do to just be calm.
I am just sick of nursing, and sick of her not sleeping when it feels like it should be time to sleep. I want so badly to have some sort of order and routine in my life, and it is feeling more and more difficult the more I try.
Can someone please give me some wonderful advice!?
Thank you!
-Sarah Christina (hoping her mother will come soon!!)
She woke up really early, which felt even earlier than it should as I stayed up FAR later than I ever should(1:00am). However, we've managed to have a wonderful morning, we went to music together after a pancake breakfast(which did involve T whining at me to the point where I was yelling at her and putting her in her room, hoping she'd just take the time to have a break and relax, which semi-sorta worked. So, maybe not all wonderful).
After we returned from that, with a stop at the small playground on the short walk home, lunch was prepared and eaten. I called T in from outside to either eat some more lunch or come and lay down with me for a nap. She chose the second option, we washed her up and got her PJs on(at her request). After laying with her for a while and getting SO annoyed at the constant prodding and squirming and grabbing, and just sick of even her suckling, I pulled my boob out in hopes she would roll over and go to sleep(as she often does). However, she became perky and awake again and now it is all I can do to just be calm.
I am just sick of nursing, and sick of her not sleeping when it feels like it should be time to sleep. I want so badly to have some sort of order and routine in my life, and it is feeling more and more difficult the more I try.
Can someone please give me some wonderful advice!?
Thank you!
-Sarah Christina (hoping her mother will come soon!!)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Long Post of Now and the Days to Come
Okay, so I already broke my deal with myself to go on here in the afternoons. It's just so nice to end the day by sharing it with all of you!
I officially have a child-care giving friend and today was my first official day of, what I am calling, work! (Though I must say, it's pretty damn fun for "work"!) They only hung out for two hours(9:30am-11:30am), but it was good. I set up my Sewing Nook at the end of our hallway more by organizing all of my fabric, old and new-to-me, and neatly stacking it on the shelves my room-mate so kindly put up for me above my desk. That was about all I had time to accomplish (he came a bit late and I did some eating and such before getting down to business). However, throughout the course of the evening I was able to crochet cuffs which will be the ankles of lovely Arabian-style pants, as overalls, and a short and wonderful vest to go with them. All that is left is to sew the pants (hopefully tomorrow finds me doing this, maybe during T's nap?).
I am excited for when he will be caring for her Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for three hours each morning. We are easing into it, as there have been many transitions lately and Mom has been also having a hard time, which she feels. So today was two hours, and we are skipping Tuesday, however Wednesday will be a three hour morning for them. This works out really well, as he will be watching her from right after breakfast to lunch. She'll come back, ideally eat lunch and then go down for a couple hours of napping, freeing me up to continue any projects I am wanting to do more work on, or perhaps complete a few of the endless tasks on my eternal list! ^.^ In addition to this, it is possible that another close friend of mine will watch T for 2 days of the month, once every two weeks, for up to 5 hours. We'll see how this goes. This could also come in handy to allow me to work part time, say one day a week, as I feel this may be necessary for me to bring in the money needed to support T and I. As for babysitting, I am hoping to receive a Child Care Subsidy from the government and am sending in the application form tomorrow. This will mean I will only need to put a fraction of money into childcare, as opposed to all the money I could possibly earn while my child is being cared for. *Few*
Today after T returned and went down for her nap, I finally got out the poster-board, as I've been truly wanting to do for a time now, and started the process of making a schedule for T(and myself), based on the one I found on this video. Now to laminate it, make labels and laminate them, and find a wonderful picture of T to use to show where in our day we are. Hoping to have this done soon.
T is doing well. She has been tricking me, this is about the third time now. She will say she is ready for bed, we'll do the whole bed-time prep. deal, get into her bedroll, nurse, and this is where is starts to become evident, and she's super awake, enjoying the nurse.
Now, I have, as long as I've been in this Mother role, been an advocate of "on-demand nursing", and self-led weaning as well. However, I have been getting more and more tired and feel that the amount she nurses is taxing me more than it is benefiting her. So, I have recently(for about a couple weeks now) stopped giving her milk every time she asked. I now will nurse her if requested upon waking in the morning or from a nap, I will nurse her to sleep at nap and night time, and if/when she wakes up throughout the night. This is better than the anger and/or frustration I very obviously felt with each nurse, which was a LOT of nursing. And when I started this, I was pleasantly surprised at how well she took it. She was quite happy to be distracted, or else didn't take long to get over it. And so, either I am misinterpreting her or, as she confirmed when I asked her, she is tricking me by saying she's ready for bed so that she can get a nurse. And clever girl she is for it works, and as much as I don't want to nurse her again once she's genuinely ready for bed, I don't really see another option that makes sense for us. I feel tired and aggravated after going through the entire bedtime routine, laying down with her and nursing her in bed, getting sleepy from this myself, all to have her pop right out of bed ready for more adventure. At this point I just do what I can to keep my sanity and let her tire herself out.
Having said this, I am deeply wanting to establish routines and some sort of schedule to help get us into a flow that feels good for both of us. That is why I, at last, started working on the poster board schedule. I really don't think that this is a large project except for the way that I interpret the whole situation as big and hard. Thankfully my Mother is most likely coming after Thursday to help me with this aspect of my current life. I admire her ability to do what she does and want to learn from her how to do some of those things myself. She is great at meal planning, bread making, time using. All sorts of things.
And to be fair and truly honest, sometimes you just need your Mommy, even if you're a Mama yourself!
So tomorrow I look forward to T's Music Together class in the morning. I think it will be my last, or at least second to last, time going with her for this section(and it's her first time doing this class, which is AMAZING, btw, I highly recommend it!). This is because my friend will begin watching her on Tuesdays soon, and so he will be taking her! I will miss it, but I am also glad for the experience she will still have and that she will be able to bring her friend into that world as well. ^_^
Oh yeah, and depositing rent and all of that fun official stuff I also need to do tomorrow. Well, it'll be alright.
Have a beautiful night or day and thanks for reading!
-Sarah Christina
PS-Also, before typing this, I found this crazy synchronistic writing while searching for another wondrous blog to add to the list of those inspiring Mama blogs I follow!
I officially have a child-care giving friend and today was my first official day of, what I am calling, work! (Though I must say, it's pretty damn fun for "work"!) They only hung out for two hours(9:30am-11:30am), but it was good. I set up my Sewing Nook at the end of our hallway more by organizing all of my fabric, old and new-to-me, and neatly stacking it on the shelves my room-mate so kindly put up for me above my desk. That was about all I had time to accomplish (he came a bit late and I did some eating and such before getting down to business). However, throughout the course of the evening I was able to crochet cuffs which will be the ankles of lovely Arabian-style pants, as overalls, and a short and wonderful vest to go with them. All that is left is to sew the pants (hopefully tomorrow finds me doing this, maybe during T's nap?).
I am excited for when he will be caring for her Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for three hours each morning. We are easing into it, as there have been many transitions lately and Mom has been also having a hard time, which she feels. So today was two hours, and we are skipping Tuesday, however Wednesday will be a three hour morning for them. This works out really well, as he will be watching her from right after breakfast to lunch. She'll come back, ideally eat lunch and then go down for a couple hours of napping, freeing me up to continue any projects I am wanting to do more work on, or perhaps complete a few of the endless tasks on my eternal list! ^.^ In addition to this, it is possible that another close friend of mine will watch T for 2 days of the month, once every two weeks, for up to 5 hours. We'll see how this goes. This could also come in handy to allow me to work part time, say one day a week, as I feel this may be necessary for me to bring in the money needed to support T and I. As for babysitting, I am hoping to receive a Child Care Subsidy from the government and am sending in the application form tomorrow. This will mean I will only need to put a fraction of money into childcare, as opposed to all the money I could possibly earn while my child is being cared for. *Few*
Today after T returned and went down for her nap, I finally got out the poster-board, as I've been truly wanting to do for a time now, and started the process of making a schedule for T(and myself), based on the one I found on this video. Now to laminate it, make labels and laminate them, and find a wonderful picture of T to use to show where in our day we are. Hoping to have this done soon.
T is doing well. She has been tricking me, this is about the third time now. She will say she is ready for bed, we'll do the whole bed-time prep. deal, get into her bedroll, nurse, and this is where is starts to become evident, and she's super awake, enjoying the nurse.
Now, I have, as long as I've been in this Mother role, been an advocate of "on-demand nursing", and self-led weaning as well. However, I have been getting more and more tired and feel that the amount she nurses is taxing me more than it is benefiting her. So, I have recently(for about a couple weeks now) stopped giving her milk every time she asked. I now will nurse her if requested upon waking in the morning or from a nap, I will nurse her to sleep at nap and night time, and if/when she wakes up throughout the night. This is better than the anger and/or frustration I very obviously felt with each nurse, which was a LOT of nursing. And when I started this, I was pleasantly surprised at how well she took it. She was quite happy to be distracted, or else didn't take long to get over it. And so, either I am misinterpreting her or, as she confirmed when I asked her, she is tricking me by saying she's ready for bed so that she can get a nurse. And clever girl she is for it works, and as much as I don't want to nurse her again once she's genuinely ready for bed, I don't really see another option that makes sense for us. I feel tired and aggravated after going through the entire bedtime routine, laying down with her and nursing her in bed, getting sleepy from this myself, all to have her pop right out of bed ready for more adventure. At this point I just do what I can to keep my sanity and let her tire herself out.
Having said this, I am deeply wanting to establish routines and some sort of schedule to help get us into a flow that feels good for both of us. That is why I, at last, started working on the poster board schedule. I really don't think that this is a large project except for the way that I interpret the whole situation as big and hard. Thankfully my Mother is most likely coming after Thursday to help me with this aspect of my current life. I admire her ability to do what she does and want to learn from her how to do some of those things myself. She is great at meal planning, bread making, time using. All sorts of things.
And to be fair and truly honest, sometimes you just need your Mommy, even if you're a Mama yourself!
So tomorrow I look forward to T's Music Together class in the morning. I think it will be my last, or at least second to last, time going with her for this section(and it's her first time doing this class, which is AMAZING, btw, I highly recommend it!). This is because my friend will begin watching her on Tuesdays soon, and so he will be taking her! I will miss it, but I am also glad for the experience she will still have and that she will be able to bring her friend into that world as well. ^_^
Oh yeah, and depositing rent and all of that fun official stuff I also need to do tomorrow. Well, it'll be alright.
Have a beautiful night or day and thanks for reading!
-Sarah Christina
PS-Also, before typing this, I found this crazy synchronistic writing while searching for another wondrous blog to add to the list of those inspiring Mama blogs I follow!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Up and Sew, Here We Go!
Yesterday the call came in: My lovely sewing machine has been overhauled and is ready for me to pick up!!! Have no doubt that as soon as my precious toddler awakens from her nap, I'll be rushing out that door, hopping on the bus with the wheely-cart and picking that Elna up!!! Also, the arm for my bike trailer has come in at the bike shop, so we'll also be picking that up. I may also, if the ambition strikes me, be stopping in on that discount fabric and notion shop I noticed beside the teacher supply store during our shopping spree the other day. I think it may be wise to pace myself a bit, see what I have to work with, and then go and get more supplies.
My wonderful room-mate has installed shelves on the wall above my desk(yet unpainted) where my lovely treasured sewing machine is to go upon her return home! I am hoping to take the time tonight after T is down to go through all of my fabric and notions and organize the space. I also must go through all of my crazily cluttered desk drawers! .... >.< Not looking forward to that part so much, however the end result will be well worth it!
Yesterday I cleaned the house when Chris took T out for an evening walk to the far away store to purchase some juice and Valerian Root Tincture(that is how much I have been stressing, which has been resulting in pain of the head and neck, and body overall). I noticed that the headache I had been feeling for hours diminished. My house got clean, and I felt better. Then, something else magical happened...I went to bed at a reasonable hour! That is why I am blogging in the afternoon. I am going to try to limit myself to going online while T is napping, as opposed to the usual after she's gone to bed. I felt SO good this morning! I know my clean house had something to do with it, and I also do not even think about underestimating the great importance of sleep, that I somehow forgot about! I woke up with T without much difficulty and even scrubbed the bathroom and the kitchen floor, as well as the outsides of cupboards and the fridge. It felt SO good to be able to do this. I feel that as I am now caught up on this, perhaps I will have a better foundation to introduce the schedule/routines that I have been struggling with.
I also called my Mama, and she is going to come and support me for a bit, observe me and give me some advice. I feel very comforted knowing this. I am unsure of specifically when she is coming, but just knowing she is helps me to relax a little bit.
I am looking towards my future, and at my present with great enthusiasm and excitement, as it stands in this moment.
Thank you life for giving me this reprieve!
In Love!
-Sarah
My wonderful room-mate has installed shelves on the wall above my desk(yet unpainted) where my lovely treasured sewing machine is to go upon her return home! I am hoping to take the time tonight after T is down to go through all of my fabric and notions and organize the space. I also must go through all of my crazily cluttered desk drawers! .... >.< Not looking forward to that part so much, however the end result will be well worth it!
Yesterday I cleaned the house when Chris took T out for an evening walk to the far away store to purchase some juice and Valerian Root Tincture(that is how much I have been stressing, which has been resulting in pain of the head and neck, and body overall). I noticed that the headache I had been feeling for hours diminished. My house got clean, and I felt better. Then, something else magical happened...I went to bed at a reasonable hour! That is why I am blogging in the afternoon. I am going to try to limit myself to going online while T is napping, as opposed to the usual after she's gone to bed. I felt SO good this morning! I know my clean house had something to do with it, and I also do not even think about underestimating the great importance of sleep, that I somehow forgot about! I woke up with T without much difficulty and even scrubbed the bathroom and the kitchen floor, as well as the outsides of cupboards and the fridge. It felt SO good to be able to do this. I feel that as I am now caught up on this, perhaps I will have a better foundation to introduce the schedule/routines that I have been struggling with.
I also called my Mama, and she is going to come and support me for a bit, observe me and give me some advice. I feel very comforted knowing this. I am unsure of specifically when she is coming, but just knowing she is helps me to relax a little bit.
I am looking towards my future, and at my present with great enthusiasm and excitement, as it stands in this moment.
Thank you life for giving me this reprieve!
In Love!
-Sarah
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Growing out and Growing In
Today T and I went downtown on a shopping adventure...er...spree! ^.^ I spent most likely close to $200.00. Though I had the guilt I always seem to have when spending money(gotta figure that one out), I was also able to have fun with it. My counter to the guilt was that a. I was spending money on supplies for my business plan, and b. I was spending money of items for T, mainly to create activities for her with, which is important and totally okay to spend money on as she deserves to have these wondrous creations. ^.^ GOD I love being a Mom! Have I said that lately? Well, let me say it again just for good measure: I LOVE BEING A MOM!!! ^<>^
And so my plan is going ahead smoothly. I am feeling(in this moment at least) very good about my plans to create beautiful things to support myself and T with. I also asked at a wonderful, fire-ovened bakery(which seems to support excellent progressive political views) if they were looking for workers. I was told they weren't at the moment, but when I expressed that I was thinking more like September, she said it was more likely on account of the school year. So, I am more optimistic about this. It has been a pondering thing in my mind that I should also work a small amount as an 'employee', as this would give us more financial stability than relying on whether or not enough people purchase my creations. The bakery is rather far from my home, but a good bike ride(an hour) may be nice...or deadly. >.< It may be more realistic for me to look closer to home, which could work out super nice on account of all the farms close by!
This is another point of stress when I think about it though. We are potentially facing yet another move in September. Half of me wants to stay here. The neighborhood is wonderful, we are a bike ride away from organic farms and a mountain and woods and the ocean. It is a healthy environment for us, and rather family oriented from my present interperatation. This part of me(well, the entirety of me) so strongly desires to have roots and continue on with the garden we are putting work into and get ducks and set up rain barrels and establish a sense of community around us and a physical settledness. The other half of me is feeling the smallness of a basement suite(and our other room-mate hasn't even moved in yet since we got the place May 1, so who knows how crowded it will feel then). That part of me wants so badly to find an entire house to rent that also has a 2 bedroom suite off of it. This way, I could be with community but also have space for me and T, which I am feeling more and more crazy about not having as time wears on and she grows and each of our needs change and grow. Maybe if I start making my own money I can afford enough rent to warrant a 2 bedroom suite off of a shared house instead of one room in a tiny shared basement suite(we're talking not even enough room for a kitchen table). Speaking of which, does anyone have advice to give about creating order and making the best use of a small space with a child and a disorganized mother who has a constant passionate desire to be ultra-organized? (Just to be fair, it is a beautiful and blessed place for which I am immensely grateful!)
So I am very excited for the potential lurking about my life right now! I am also tired of things in my life that I am quickly out-growing.
Bring on the new, baby!!
Here I go? Let's see where it takes me!
-Sarah Christina
And so my plan is going ahead smoothly. I am feeling(in this moment at least) very good about my plans to create beautiful things to support myself and T with. I also asked at a wonderful, fire-ovened bakery(which seems to support excellent progressive political views) if they were looking for workers. I was told they weren't at the moment, but when I expressed that I was thinking more like September, she said it was more likely on account of the school year. So, I am more optimistic about this. It has been a pondering thing in my mind that I should also work a small amount as an 'employee', as this would give us more financial stability than relying on whether or not enough people purchase my creations. The bakery is rather far from my home, but a good bike ride(an hour) may be nice...or deadly. >.< It may be more realistic for me to look closer to home, which could work out super nice on account of all the farms close by!
This is another point of stress when I think about it though. We are potentially facing yet another move in September. Half of me wants to stay here. The neighborhood is wonderful, we are a bike ride away from organic farms and a mountain and woods and the ocean. It is a healthy environment for us, and rather family oriented from my present interperatation. This part of me(well, the entirety of me) so strongly desires to have roots and continue on with the garden we are putting work into and get ducks and set up rain barrels and establish a sense of community around us and a physical settledness. The other half of me is feeling the smallness of a basement suite(and our other room-mate hasn't even moved in yet since we got the place May 1, so who knows how crowded it will feel then). That part of me wants so badly to find an entire house to rent that also has a 2 bedroom suite off of it. This way, I could be with community but also have space for me and T, which I am feeling more and more crazy about not having as time wears on and she grows and each of our needs change and grow. Maybe if I start making my own money I can afford enough rent to warrant a 2 bedroom suite off of a shared house instead of one room in a tiny shared basement suite(we're talking not even enough room for a kitchen table). Speaking of which, does anyone have advice to give about creating order and making the best use of a small space with a child and a disorganized mother who has a constant passionate desire to be ultra-organized? (Just to be fair, it is a beautiful and blessed place for which I am immensely grateful!)
So I am very excited for the potential lurking about my life right now! I am also tired of things in my life that I am quickly out-growing.
Bring on the new, baby!!
Here I go? Let's see where it takes me!
-Sarah Christina
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Space and Creative Financial Independence
Hello.
So, I have been going a little crazy lately, and also entering into a beautiful stage of my life. I suppose that transition always must be a little bit crazy...or downright maddening.
Anyways. I have been trying to integrate a schedule into the life of myself and my two year old these last few days. It has been tricky, and I want to get it right away. I realized the beauty, however, of creating a schedule and adjusting it as you use it and discover what works and what doesn't. Also, there are some days where you need to ignore any schedule at all. I suppose what I made was more of sets of routines designed to make our lives more smooth, efficient, and predictable.
A big reason for the desire to have set routines and a sort of schedule is that I am ready to have time to myself and feel the push to become financially independent. I am a single Mama and have been on financial assistance since month 5 of my pregnancy. I am not only ready to be financially independent, but also must be prepared as when T turns three years old (which is in February) they will cut me off.
And so, with optimism, I am excited for this much needed shift in my reality. I am in the process of finding a friend to hang out with T while I have time to focus of self and creating wondrous magical things to sell to support us.
My wonderful, amazing and exciting plan is to sew(weeeeee, my beautiful old Elna Machine is in the shop right now!) wonderful creations to sell. I would also like to embroider embellishments, do some felting/felt appliqués, crochet, make activities for children(Montessori inspired, no doubt), and do all of this in a way that is sustainable. I will use salvaged goods, such as linens and such from thrift shops, local wool/salvaged wool and other such materials. I am very excited about all of this(as must be incredibly apparent).
So, here I go. I am going to talk to my friend today to see if watching T for me will work for him.
Here I go!
I will update when this evolves further. Another exciting tidbit: I will soon have a camera again and so will be able to show off in posts with lovely photographs!
<3
-Radical Mama Me
So, I have been going a little crazy lately, and also entering into a beautiful stage of my life. I suppose that transition always must be a little bit crazy...or downright maddening.
Anyways. I have been trying to integrate a schedule into the life of myself and my two year old these last few days. It has been tricky, and I want to get it right away. I realized the beauty, however, of creating a schedule and adjusting it as you use it and discover what works and what doesn't. Also, there are some days where you need to ignore any schedule at all. I suppose what I made was more of sets of routines designed to make our lives more smooth, efficient, and predictable.
A big reason for the desire to have set routines and a sort of schedule is that I am ready to have time to myself and feel the push to become financially independent. I am a single Mama and have been on financial assistance since month 5 of my pregnancy. I am not only ready to be financially independent, but also must be prepared as when T turns three years old (which is in February) they will cut me off.
And so, with optimism, I am excited for this much needed shift in my reality. I am in the process of finding a friend to hang out with T while I have time to focus of self and creating wondrous magical things to sell to support us.
My wonderful, amazing and exciting plan is to sew(weeeeee, my beautiful old Elna Machine is in the shop right now!) wonderful creations to sell. I would also like to embroider embellishments, do some felting/felt appliqués, crochet, make activities for children(Montessori inspired, no doubt), and do all of this in a way that is sustainable. I will use salvaged goods, such as linens and such from thrift shops, local wool/salvaged wool and other such materials. I am very excited about all of this(as must be incredibly apparent).
So, here I go. I am going to talk to my friend today to see if watching T for me will work for him.
Here I go!
I will update when this evolves further. Another exciting tidbit: I will soon have a camera again and so will be able to show off in posts with lovely photographs!
<3
-Radical Mama Me
Saturday, May 15, 2010
It's That "It's evening and I want time to myself but my kid's still awake," Thing.
Today was a good day. I have decided to wake up early so as to be more productive during the early part of the day, and so feel better in the evenings. So, I have brought an alarm clock into my room and set it to wake me with the radio at 7:00am. This morning it went off for the first time...much too loud. Though I have to say, Tyler slept in her own bed (a lovely bed roll made with a heavy woven cotton blanket and many wool blankets I was inspired to throw together over the plastic crib mattress I used to lay on the ground for her after watching a video about the toxins that children in our age are being exposed to) all night! She woke up at 6:00 in the morning, crawled into bed with me and nursed back to sleep. She didn't wake again until the overkill radio alarm went off. This was okay though. I was in a space of acceptance.
We had a nice morning. I baked bread, we had some breakfast, did some sunshine bathing and such. Then she was ready for a nap and by about 10:30am she was out. She slept until just before 1:00pm. And so, the rest of our day went on. We ended up going on a trip to the library.
At the library we saw her dad. This was a bit intense for me as about a month ago he cut out of her life completely, but she seemed fine. They hung out in the kids section reading and playing together for a good chunk of time. Then it was time for us to go and eat and her dad to go on with his day, and so goodbyes were said. I don't know where anything stands with that now.
And so, ultra hungry we snacked on the walk home. T was getting sleepy and I was pushing her to stay awake long enough that it was a reasonable time when she went to bed, ensuring a reasonably timed wake up tomorrow. And so, after a snacking supper, a book, a bath, jammies and a few pages of another book, she was more than ready to get sleeping. This, however, was not to be so. My room-mate, I had failed to remember told me, now began to mow the lawn. . .right outside our window. . .which was open.
Now I have a wide awake child and I am feeling the extreme missing of a chocolate bar now that I have consciously chosen to not participate in the ridiculousness and harms of imported food. I am sure this will happen many times more before I find an alternative, or get over it. :)
Anyways, I am in a space of needing to be able to breathe in my own space, as an adult and as an individual, and I have a needy awake 2 year old.
Thankfully Chris has taken to hanging out with T, and I get to retreat into "the office" and take some much needed time to myself....writing about how I wished T was in bed. >.< does go to sleep that is. ^.^
I am going to wake up at 7:00 tomorrow as well. I am excited to see how productive and active I can be once I get into the flow with a new routine!
Much love.
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah Christina
We had a nice morning. I baked bread, we had some breakfast, did some sunshine bathing and such. Then she was ready for a nap and by about 10:30am she was out. She slept until just before 1:00pm. And so, the rest of our day went on. We ended up going on a trip to the library.
At the library we saw her dad. This was a bit intense for me as about a month ago he cut out of her life completely, but she seemed fine. They hung out in the kids section reading and playing together for a good chunk of time. Then it was time for us to go and eat and her dad to go on with his day, and so goodbyes were said. I don't know where anything stands with that now.
And so, ultra hungry we snacked on the walk home. T was getting sleepy and I was pushing her to stay awake long enough that it was a reasonable time when she went to bed, ensuring a reasonably timed wake up tomorrow. And so, after a snacking supper, a book, a bath, jammies and a few pages of another book, she was more than ready to get sleeping. This, however, was not to be so. My room-mate, I had failed to remember told me, now began to mow the lawn. . .right outside our window. . .which was open.
Now I have a wide awake child and I am feeling the extreme missing of a chocolate bar now that I have consciously chosen to not participate in the ridiculousness and harms of imported food. I am sure this will happen many times more before I find an alternative, or get over it. :)
Anyways, I am in a space of needing to be able to breathe in my own space, as an adult and as an individual, and I have a needy awake 2 year old.
Thankfully Chris has taken to hanging out with T, and I get to retreat into "the office" and take some much needed time to myself....writing about how I wished T was in bed. >.< does go to sleep that is. ^.^
I am going to wake up at 7:00 tomorrow as well. I am excited to see how productive and active I can be once I get into the flow with a new routine!
Much love.
Thanks for reading!
-Sarah Christina
Friday, May 14, 2010
Planting Seeds and Imagination
Today was a lovely day in many ways.
The garden is needing evermore work than we are giving it, but I am hoping that the seedlings longing for more soil will have patience, and that the season will be kind to our potentially late start.
Today T and I took action. While our garden is still 90% covered in lawn stuff (grass, those little daisies and dandelions), we planted seeds into little pots with potting soil we purchased at the nearby market.
I opened the soil, gave T an empty egg carton(just the egg holding part with the top and flap cut off) and a spoon, showed her what to do, and away she went, filling the sections with soil. With a chopstick, we poked holes in the soil, and into the holes went Arugula Seeds! From there we went wild with other fun seeds in little pots. It was super sunny and T got to be naked in our lovely new yard, I wanted to be. The sun is getting warmer!
I want to also share a sweet moment of the day with you. On our return home from a lovely and leisurely walk this evening(during which we got to watch the kids on the skate park and see how the biggins do it as T received a little skateboard for her second b-day), she showed a lovely evolution in her imaginator! We walked by a person, who she said hi to readily and friendly, there was a small exchange, and then she quickly ran along the path further ahead. She said "I don't want any humans." Then she told me, "I'm a creature." There was an exchange of "Hello creature." She also called me a creature by saying the same greeting. Then she said, "You're a Hoo-Bah." (Or something to that effect). It is so amazing to watch a human being grow so intensely, so observe every little change and growth and spark and inspiration. Ah. Beautiful!
Thank you life! Thank you T! Thank you to all of the beautiful people in our lives!
And thank you for reading! ^^
-Sarah
The garden is needing evermore work than we are giving it, but I am hoping that the seedlings longing for more soil will have patience, and that the season will be kind to our potentially late start.
Today T and I took action. While our garden is still 90% covered in lawn stuff (grass, those little daisies and dandelions), we planted seeds into little pots with potting soil we purchased at the nearby market.
I opened the soil, gave T an empty egg carton(just the egg holding part with the top and flap cut off) and a spoon, showed her what to do, and away she went, filling the sections with soil. With a chopstick, we poked holes in the soil, and into the holes went Arugula Seeds! From there we went wild with other fun seeds in little pots. It was super sunny and T got to be naked in our lovely new yard, I wanted to be. The sun is getting warmer!
I want to also share a sweet moment of the day with you. On our return home from a lovely and leisurely walk this evening(during which we got to watch the kids on the skate park and see how the biggins do it as T received a little skateboard for her second b-day), she showed a lovely evolution in her imaginator! We walked by a person, who she said hi to readily and friendly, there was a small exchange, and then she quickly ran along the path further ahead. She said "I don't want any humans." Then she told me, "I'm a creature." There was an exchange of "Hello creature." She also called me a creature by saying the same greeting. Then she said, "You're a Hoo-Bah." (Or something to that effect). It is so amazing to watch a human being grow so intensely, so observe every little change and growth and spark and inspiration. Ah. Beautiful!
Thank you life! Thank you T! Thank you to all of the beautiful people in our lives!
And thank you for reading! ^^
-Sarah
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Ceremony and Cooking and Welcoming the Magic Again!
So, today has been a day, and oh what a day it has been!!!
Thank you Universe for bringing your sweet sweet blessing to me with a fresh breath of "Aaah" and Spirit Infusions!
I ran into a friend whom I haven't seen for a while today and we were able to reconnect. She brought to me the ceremony and remembrance of the sacred that I have been calling for, and so deeply needing. This morning we intended to set out on our bikes at 8:00am in order to go down to the ocean-side to collect Nettles from their lovely wild patch. We were not able to do this, however it was the thing that pushed me to get out of bed early rather than lay there as T roamed around, seeking each bit of sleep I could get. This was really good. T and I got up and moved into the day with some grace. We made breakfast, I cleaned the kitchen up, which spread to the living room and hallway as well! Then, after connecting with Kerry and it being decided that enjoying ceremony in the backyard would now make more sense, T and I went outside and enjoyed the amazing and fresh late-spring morning, the kind that lets you know summer is on it's way!! We stretched and hula-hooped and made music with our mouths and hands and danced and it was SO delightful and amazing!
When Kerry came, we all took some sacred smoking herbs that Kerry had gathered herself(red cedar bark and sage) and received(sacred tobacco from Peru, I think). With these in our hands, together we thanked all four directions, Mother Earth, and Father Sky, with Kerry's words, and brought it all back down. Then we offered these herbs to the Earth. After this, we burnt a smudge of Cedar we had all collected on our walk yesterday. So lovely! Tyler is so keyed into this and so receptive. I know I have to include this once more in our daily lives!
Next amazing item of the day, which this morning lead into SO wonderfully, was the Community Kitchen. As a part of the Autonomous Community Support Network that we have started here where I live, we have begun a Community Kitchen project. This is a way for us to come together in community and create stronger connections, while pooling our resources together to make lovely meals, potentially enough to take home and freeze for use throughout the week. Today was the third attempt at having a successful Community Kitchen, and. . . SUCCESS! It was lovely. The five of us made a wonderful Lentil Shepherd's Pie and a Soup, for which T ground up some Rosemary we picked and dried, with the mortar and pestle.
During the cooking, T fell asleep on my bosom in the other room, which was great! I was trying to stop her naps all together because her bedtimes were very frustrating. The result was an unhappy, cranky toddler, and a stressed out Mama! Also, she was beginning to go to bed at crazy and dangerous times(unless you enjoy waking up at 3:00am) like 5:00pm. So, I was hoping to be able to get her to have a nap by 12:00-1:00 at the latest, and wake her up after an hour. Today, she went to sleep at 12:30, and I ended up waking her, pleasantly received--yay, at 2:30.
After some naked play and shepherd's pie out in the yard(yay sunshine!!), it was off to the playground with us. And play we did! Not until three hours later did we arrive home! This was about quarter to seven. Some snackie dinner, bed prep, and then off to sleep with the wee one!
I set my tent up for Kerry, who will be sleeping over tonight, after T's slumber took her, and upon laying in it to test it out received many wondrous zings of joy and excitement. Being in my tent, amid the lovely outside, with the fresh air and the critters and the lovely, lovely Earth SO close beneath me, drawing me into her warmth and grounding--Oh Goddess!!!! Uh! SOoooo amazing!!! So, tomorrow it's my turn with T to sleep in there, and every night after, I do believe!!!
Also, tomorrow we will view a place for the first time. We need to move for May 1st, and this place sounds super nice! Send us good thoughts for this one!!
And so ends an amazing and magical day for these and other reasons!
Tomorrow it's off to the ocean-side Stinging Nettle patch on Bicycle for Kerry, T and I!
Until then,
Lovely lullabyes to all!!
-Sarah Christina
Thank you Universe for bringing your sweet sweet blessing to me with a fresh breath of "Aaah" and Spirit Infusions!
I ran into a friend whom I haven't seen for a while today and we were able to reconnect. She brought to me the ceremony and remembrance of the sacred that I have been calling for, and so deeply needing. This morning we intended to set out on our bikes at 8:00am in order to go down to the ocean-side to collect Nettles from their lovely wild patch. We were not able to do this, however it was the thing that pushed me to get out of bed early rather than lay there as T roamed around, seeking each bit of sleep I could get. This was really good. T and I got up and moved into the day with some grace. We made breakfast, I cleaned the kitchen up, which spread to the living room and hallway as well! Then, after connecting with Kerry and it being decided that enjoying ceremony in the backyard would now make more sense, T and I went outside and enjoyed the amazing and fresh late-spring morning, the kind that lets you know summer is on it's way!! We stretched and hula-hooped and made music with our mouths and hands and danced and it was SO delightful and amazing!
When Kerry came, we all took some sacred smoking herbs that Kerry had gathered herself(red cedar bark and sage) and received(sacred tobacco from Peru, I think). With these in our hands, together we thanked all four directions, Mother Earth, and Father Sky, with Kerry's words, and brought it all back down. Then we offered these herbs to the Earth. After this, we burnt a smudge of Cedar we had all collected on our walk yesterday. So lovely! Tyler is so keyed into this and so receptive. I know I have to include this once more in our daily lives!
Next amazing item of the day, which this morning lead into SO wonderfully, was the Community Kitchen. As a part of the Autonomous Community Support Network that we have started here where I live, we have begun a Community Kitchen project. This is a way for us to come together in community and create stronger connections, while pooling our resources together to make lovely meals, potentially enough to take home and freeze for use throughout the week. Today was the third attempt at having a successful Community Kitchen, and. . . SUCCESS! It was lovely. The five of us made a wonderful Lentil Shepherd's Pie and a Soup, for which T ground up some Rosemary we picked and dried, with the mortar and pestle.
During the cooking, T fell asleep on my bosom in the other room, which was great! I was trying to stop her naps all together because her bedtimes were very frustrating. The result was an unhappy, cranky toddler, and a stressed out Mama! Also, she was beginning to go to bed at crazy and dangerous times(unless you enjoy waking up at 3:00am) like 5:00pm. So, I was hoping to be able to get her to have a nap by 12:00-1:00 at the latest, and wake her up after an hour. Today, she went to sleep at 12:30, and I ended up waking her, pleasantly received--yay, at 2:30.
After some naked play and shepherd's pie out in the yard(yay sunshine!!), it was off to the playground with us. And play we did! Not until three hours later did we arrive home! This was about quarter to seven. Some snackie dinner, bed prep, and then off to sleep with the wee one!
I set my tent up for Kerry, who will be sleeping over tonight, after T's slumber took her, and upon laying in it to test it out received many wondrous zings of joy and excitement. Being in my tent, amid the lovely outside, with the fresh air and the critters and the lovely, lovely Earth SO close beneath me, drawing me into her warmth and grounding--Oh Goddess!!!! Uh! SOoooo amazing!!! So, tomorrow it's my turn with T to sleep in there, and every night after, I do believe!!!
Also, tomorrow we will view a place for the first time. We need to move for May 1st, and this place sounds super nice! Send us good thoughts for this one!!
And so ends an amazing and magical day for these and other reasons!
Tomorrow it's off to the ocean-side Stinging Nettle patch on Bicycle for Kerry, T and I!
Until then,
Lovely lullabyes to all!!
-Sarah Christina
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Worn out. Bring it back UP!
My child is now 2 years old. Two years, one month, 21 days that I have been responsible for the providing, protecting, enriching, playing, loving, nurturing, cleaning, dressing, engaging, comforting, nursing, carrying and countless other obligations to care for an infant that has grown nearly into a child.
I have to say, I am feeling close to broken. I do have a lot in me, and I know I can continue to parent her in a present, beautiful and loving way. I also know that as of late I have been impatient, cranky, and unpleasant for T to be around! I need change! I need a healthier more vibrant environment. I need to create this for myself. I need to bring the magic back into my life. I need to have ceremony. I need to remember faith in Universe wherever it is that we are being led. I need to feel good again. I need to be this for myself, and for my child.
And that is all this moment has for me to share.
-Sarah Christina
Thursday, April 8, 2010
On Finding a Home and Classism
Well, here goes, my very first post on my shiny new blog.
And the topic on my mind right now is, ultimately, the flaw (to be extremely gentle) of the society in which we live.
Housing is what has led me to this train of thought. At the moment my toddler (2) and I and our lovely friends are currently living in a beautiful home with a low rent (especially for the city in which we live). We have always known it was temporary. We will have been here for a year and two months when we move; the house was sold. Our current landlord quickly had a new place that seemed highly promising. After admiring the nearby dwelling many times while intentionally walking by it, we were all pretty excited about the potential of this future community space. We could do so much good in a home like this. Large, a yard, relatively quiet area yet accessible, and for the same price we currently pay. And so, we didn't bother to look for a new home as, though we had not yet been given the opportunity to look inside, we were all pretty sure this was the one.
This morning I called the landlord to arrange for us to see the place--at last the time had come. Yet it would never be. Apparently the men who had lived there had a cat, maybe a herd of them. He told me that to walk into the place was disgusting for the saturated stench of cat urine, a smell they thought before trying they could remove. He assured me that he would not want his child to live there, and surely I would not want mine to either. Disappointed, I agreed.
And now I am experiencing the jolt back into the world where rent is ridiculously jacked and inhumane. We had a good thing going with our rent, comparatively. Not only that, being in one place for this long has affected me. I have never lived in one place for more than a few months since leaving my home with my parents, even with a new baby I was constantly moving around. Now that I am comfortable to commit myself to one place, to feel confident that I am where I am supposed to be, to be determined to work through complications rather than running from them, now that I have achieved this, I must search for a new home because the one in which I live has been sold by an owner who has never lived a day in it, who rented it out to us the day after purchasing it.
This world is cold and paying for a place to sleep makes absolutely no sense.
I feel raped in the way that I feel raped nearly every time I am required to go to the Welfare office yet again for some other complication if I am to get my monthly check. Withholding ones means of survival, let alone comfort and dignity, is disgusting. That many of us have adapted to and become comfortable with such a reality is disturbing!
One aim in creating a community support network (more about that later) is to create free/rent=non-compulsory housing. My plan for this is to locate some of the many uninhabited houses and buildings and confront the "owner" with my idea--for this person to allow us to utilize the space (free of charge or perhaps payment of land taxes) for housing while improving it through fixing it up, growing food, and filling it with good energy--making it alive while supporting a crucial project and need of the people! This has been made as a longer-term goal, however today I have felt very compelled to make it happen by the end of the month. Now as the day has wound down and I feel the weight of the task more fully, I am unsure as to whether or not I should focus my energy on finding a home with a price-tag on it or seeking out a little old fashioned revolution. . .
And here I leave you. We're off to an anti-poverty rally tomorrow, where I may be speaking. We shall see.
Much love and thanks for reading!
Signing off,
~Radical Mama Me
And the topic on my mind right now is, ultimately, the flaw (to be extremely gentle) of the society in which we live.
Housing is what has led me to this train of thought. At the moment my toddler (2) and I and our lovely friends are currently living in a beautiful home with a low rent (especially for the city in which we live). We have always known it was temporary. We will have been here for a year and two months when we move; the house was sold. Our current landlord quickly had a new place that seemed highly promising. After admiring the nearby dwelling many times while intentionally walking by it, we were all pretty excited about the potential of this future community space. We could do so much good in a home like this. Large, a yard, relatively quiet area yet accessible, and for the same price we currently pay. And so, we didn't bother to look for a new home as, though we had not yet been given the opportunity to look inside, we were all pretty sure this was the one.
This morning I called the landlord to arrange for us to see the place--at last the time had come. Yet it would never be. Apparently the men who had lived there had a cat, maybe a herd of them. He told me that to walk into the place was disgusting for the saturated stench of cat urine, a smell they thought before trying they could remove. He assured me that he would not want his child to live there, and surely I would not want mine to either. Disappointed, I agreed.
And now I am experiencing the jolt back into the world where rent is ridiculously jacked and inhumane. We had a good thing going with our rent, comparatively. Not only that, being in one place for this long has affected me. I have never lived in one place for more than a few months since leaving my home with my parents, even with a new baby I was constantly moving around. Now that I am comfortable to commit myself to one place, to feel confident that I am where I am supposed to be, to be determined to work through complications rather than running from them, now that I have achieved this, I must search for a new home because the one in which I live has been sold by an owner who has never lived a day in it, who rented it out to us the day after purchasing it.
This world is cold and paying for a place to sleep makes absolutely no sense.
I feel raped in the way that I feel raped nearly every time I am required to go to the Welfare office yet again for some other complication if I am to get my monthly check. Withholding ones means of survival, let alone comfort and dignity, is disgusting. That many of us have adapted to and become comfortable with such a reality is disturbing!
One aim in creating a community support network (more about that later) is to create free/rent=non-compulsory housing. My plan for this is to locate some of the many uninhabited houses and buildings and confront the "owner" with my idea--for this person to allow us to utilize the space (free of charge or perhaps payment of land taxes) for housing while improving it through fixing it up, growing food, and filling it with good energy--making it alive while supporting a crucial project and need of the people! This has been made as a longer-term goal, however today I have felt very compelled to make it happen by the end of the month. Now as the day has wound down and I feel the weight of the task more fully, I am unsure as to whether or not I should focus my energy on finding a home with a price-tag on it or seeking out a little old fashioned revolution. . .
And here I leave you. We're off to an anti-poverty rally tomorrow, where I may be speaking. We shall see.
Much love and thanks for reading!
Signing off,
~Radical Mama Me
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