I am feeling immensely aggravated right now. I realize that it is not T's fault, however what I am feeling is in relation to experiences with her.
She woke up really early, which felt even earlier than it should as I stayed up FAR later than I ever should(1:00am). However, we've managed to have a wonderful morning, we went to music together after a pancake breakfast(which did involve T whining at me to the point where I was yelling at her and putting her in her room, hoping she'd just take the time to have a break and relax, which semi-sorta worked. So, maybe not all wonderful).
After we returned from that, with a stop at the small playground on the short walk home, lunch was prepared and eaten. I called T in from outside to either eat some more lunch or come and lay down with me for a nap. She chose the second option, we washed her up and got her PJs on(at her request). After laying with her for a while and getting SO annoyed at the constant prodding and squirming and grabbing, and just sick of even her suckling, I pulled my boob out in hopes she would roll over and go to sleep(as she often does). However, she became perky and awake again and now it is all I can do to just be calm.
I am just sick of nursing, and sick of her not sleeping when it feels like it should be time to sleep. I want so badly to have some sort of order and routine in my life, and it is feeling more and more difficult the more I try.
Can someone please give me some wonderful advice!?
Thank you!
-Sarah Christina (hoping her mother will come soon!!)
I can remember those days.. enough to drive a mom crazy!
ReplyDeleteWhat worked for me was to make sure that I was taking time to do things I loved to do that nurtured me, so I could nurture my child.
When I felt my bucket was 'full', I had more patience, more loving feelings, more ability to cope.
Taking the 'shoulds' and 'ought to' really helped out too.. with less expectations, I was able to shift into a different mindset, and do more fun things. If I got caught up in 'oh , it's naptime, or bedtime, with a kid who was resistant to sleeping, than we would BOTH be a puddle of unhappiness on the floor.
Sending loving, calm energy your way!
Peace and light
EJ