The No-Nap/Late Nap & Irregular Bedtime Girl, and her Tired, Disorganized Mama

Ah, the striving for structure/routine/order in my life and in T's life has evolved into seemingly endless sleep struggle. She is not into any sort of structure with her sleep and it is driving me a bit mad. Both her naps and her bedtime are super irregular, which I know ultimately is fine. For her anyways. I do feel she could benefit from regularity in sleep-land though. Mostly I want to preserve my sanity. I mean, come on, over two years as a single bicycling/busing Mama? I am slightly tired and going a tad bit insane!! Tonight she told me she was ready to sleep, we went through the whole bed-prep business(though I confess my tiredness is resulting in a lacking of a solid routine, which is to say on tired nights, I skip the bath). After nursing and then laying and singing and back-rubbing, then listening to a relaxation/visualization CD for toddlers I found at the library, giving her a soother(which until late has been soley a teething pain reliever), putting a blanket in the window, leaving her on her own, sitting with her and rubbing her, reminding her to be calm, etc, etc, etc, she still came out of bed in the end.
Currently (9:00pm), Chris is out with her on a stroller "Sleep Walk", as I dubbed them when she was around 5 months and having trouble sleeping for a bit. I would put her on my body and nurse/walk her to sleep--Sleep Walks. Hopefully this will work tonight, though I have to say that more-so in the last few months, Sleep Walks as a last resort are not as effective as they once were and I often return or have returned to me a wide-awake or cranky milk-demanding toddler(which, I must say, I am also tiring of...*sigh*).

I pray that soon I will no longer have these issues eating away at my energy and such. The sleep thing is huge. I know it will be okay. I am grounded, I am strong. I will get through this and so will T, and I know it really isn't that bad.

Still, any advice is highly desired.

Thank you for reading!

-Sarah

GAAAAAAHHh!

I am feeling immensely aggravated right now. I realize that it is not T's fault, however what I am feeling is in relation to experiences with her.
She woke up really early, which felt even earlier than it should as I stayed up FAR later than I ever should(1:00am). However, we've managed to have a wonderful morning, we went to music together after a pancake breakfast(which did involve T whining at me to the point where I was yelling at her and putting her in her room, hoping she'd just take the time to have a break and relax, which semi-sorta worked. So, maybe not all wonderful).
After we returned from that, with a stop at the small playground on the short walk home, lunch was prepared and eaten. I called T in from outside to either eat some more lunch or come and lay down with me for a nap. She chose the second option, we washed her up and got her PJs on(at her request). After laying with her for a while and getting SO annoyed at the constant prodding and squirming and grabbing, and just sick of even her suckling, I pulled my boob out in hopes she would roll over and go to sleep(as she often does). However, she became perky and awake again and now it is all I can do to just be calm.
I am just sick of nursing, and sick of her not sleeping when it feels like it should be time to sleep. I want so badly to have some sort of order and routine in my life, and it is feeling more and more difficult the more I try.
Can someone please give me some wonderful advice!?

Thank you!
-Sarah Christina (hoping her mother will come soon!!)